I am convicted. God continually blesses me with His sweet words, His sweet wisdom, and with a continually new perspective on His infinite grace; yet, I keep it to myself and fail to share. Maybe I'm self conscious - people don't want to read my words.... But, yet, I need to remember, the words I write are not my own. The words I write belong to the precious Father. I am merely a vessel carrying His love. I am convicted to once again share the thoughts God blesses me with and the teachings with which He inspires me daily.
For those of you who know me, you know of the life changing year that Andrew and I have experienced - from the birth of our first born to the anticipated arrival of our second child. From the excitement of a thriving farm to the police academy... God is ever proving His plan... God is ever challenging our plan. And, God is ever faithful. Of course, the time to share such will come.
For now, I feel the need to share of a greater story. A story not my own. A story belonging to my sweet cousin - a story of God's faithfulness and God's plan... a story that I am privileged to pray for and both joyful and heartbroken to share.
The story begins several weeks ago... I am sharing with you both my thoughts and my prayer requests in hopes that you may begin to grasp the intensity of God's love and the majesty of his great plan. Below, you will find a collection of e-mails, thoughts, and ramblings that I sent to numerous prayer partners. I hope these e-mails bring you a picture of God's faithfulness, God's love, and God's precious gifts. I hope these words provide you with a range of emotions. And, most of all, I hope these e-mails allow you to realize (as I have) that God's sovereignty is amazing. Not all e-mails are included, but some are... just so you may have the picture of God's faithfulness. God's plan is perfect. And, despite our limited understanding - God's plan is perfect; God's timing is best; and God knows how one tiny life can impact the world far beyond what we can ever dream, ask or imagine.
E-mail One:
The world sets standards of weakness and strength. By the world's standards, we could all be considered weak at some time or another. Unfortunately, my cousin Jennifer recently found out her precious unborn baby Nathan is one of these weak children. You see, Nathan is special; he is different; he is not your typical healthy young man. Tests and ultrasounds show that Nathan has Trisomy 13. Unfortunately, this is a fatal diagnosis - he will likely be born with enlarged kidneys, heart problems, and other such complications.
Upon birth, baby Nathan will be physically weak, yet completely perfect. Doctors are unsure if his time on earth will be mere seconds, hours, days, months, or years. This disease is crippling and fatal. As a result, the world will look at Nathan's situation and see pain, but God will look at his situation and see strength. As it is written in 2 Corinthians 12:19, "But, he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Baby Nathan's physical weakness will allow God the opportunity to shine. For, in this tiny baby, God's plan can and will be revealed. We pray that in Nathan's weakness and in his family's weakness, God will allow us to be strong.
Whatever the circumstances, whatever is to come, we pray that God's will be done; that God be glorified through the life of this tiny little man. We pray for Jennifer and Patrick that they will experience the peace of God described in Philippians 4:7 - "the peace that transcends all understanding."
E-mail Two:
Thank you so much for your prayers. I cannot even begin to imagine the emotional roller coaster
on which my precious cousin and her family are riding. All prayer is needed, appreciated, and
a true blessing to our family.
If you could pray a specific prayer for her over the next few
days. She needs prayer for one
additional thing. Six years ago
this Saturday, Jen's first husband, Daniel, was killed in a tragic car accident
on his way to a parent teacher conference for their daughter Taylor. At the time, she was pregnant with
ShelbyAnn. As you can imagine...
this is a bittersweet time for her and the children as they remember Daniel and
his blessing upon their life.
Since that time, God blessed her and her children with Patrick in
October 2010. (The father of baby
Nathan). He willingly and lovingly
took on the roll of father to her children for which we are truly thankful.
In light of her recent news regarding baby Nathan and the
anniversary of Daniel's death, Jen and her family are experiencing a mixture of
sadness and thankfulness. Thankful
for baby Nathan and the time they have with him. Thankful for Daniel and the time they shared with him. And, sadness over the tragic loss of a
father and husband. And, sadness
over the diagnosis of baby Nathan.
If you remember, please keep her in your prayers daily. But, PLEASE say an extra prayer for her
and her children this Saturday.
God is good and He can and will provide the faith and peace they
all need at this time. I am so
thankful and confident that "he who began a good work in you will carry it
on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" as Philippians 1:9 tell
us. Although this time is
difficult, I am anxious and excited to see how God will use her testimony and
baby Nathan's life (however brief) to further His kingdom and illustrate His
power. Despite the sadness it may
bring, I am exited to watch God's plan unfold. So thankful for the mighty God we serve! And, I am thankful for you and your
prayers. You are a precious blessing
- thank you so much!
Email Three -
Nathan is here! On April 26, 2012 at 12:55 AM, God blessed this earth with a sweet, precious, handmade gift - Nathan! Sweet baby Nathan, created, held, and blessed by our Lord was born into a family of love - he is perfect! He is the image of our Lord, (Genesis 1:27), and a true blessing to his family!
Psalm 139:13-16 reads, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Little Nathan, despite his trisomy 13, his enlarged kidneys and his other health complications, is a perfect picture of God's love, a perfect picture of God's creation and a perfect blessing to his family.
In the words of his sweet family - He is a testimony of God's plan.
Justin Nichols - cousin, "This is my cousin Nathan. He had trisomy 13. Not expected to live past birth. Now, tell me God's not real."
Taylor Thrasher - sister, "For I know the plans I have for you declared the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Please be in prayer for our family!!! We know that God has a plan for little Nathan and will take care of Him!"
Please continue to pray with me as Nathan's life, however long or short it may be, touches those around him in immeasurable ways.
E-mail Four -
God is truly amazing. We prayed for time, and he gave. Now, decisions must be made. Baby Nathan had surgery yesterday. In the NICU, he was given morphine and suffered a severe reaction. Nathan stopped breathing and was resuscitated. Unfortunately, his siblings saw this ordeal - they are still shaken up. (They are Taylor, age 13; Hunter, age 9; and ShelbyAnn, age 5). Jen and Patrick were asked to make an important, life changing decision - in the next few days they must decide what course of action to take regarding their precious young man. They can choose Comfort and Care (no surgery, no extensive tests) or the more aggressive action - surgeries, testing, etc.
To add to the emotional turmoil, Jen is extremely sick. During her pregnancy, Jen suffered from pre-eclampsia. Now, after birth, her symptoms are not over - this is likely not pre-eclampsia, but it is something. Jen is not well. She is swollen, has high blood pressure, has many symptoms of illness and is physically exhausted (she has not slept since Nathan's birth).
Needless to say, this family is exhausted. They are physically and emotionally worn. They are in desperate need of prayer. Please continue to pray for them, especially over the next few days as they decide what course of action to take regarding Nathan. THANK YOU for joining with me in prayer as I know (and you know), they need the comfort and peace that only God can provide.
Isn't it amazing how scriptures you learned years ago reenter your mind during rough circumstances. The words of 1 Peter 5:7 are truly comforting - "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Then, again in Matthew 11:28, we are reminded of God's true comfort and peace when the author writes, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" How awesome to serve an amazing God that will provide us strength when we have none... provide us rest when we cannot rest... provide us peace amidst the turmoil. Please pray that the peace of God resonates with the Warren family. Pray thatthey will find rest in the Savior. Pray for clarity. Pray for the Father to reign down upon them as they struggle to make decisions and wrestle with the future.
E-mail Five -
In scripture, we are ever reminded about mighty men of valor. Many of these men are unique in that they are not your typical heroes – they are the underdogs, the least of their family…. I often think of David and Goliath… what kind of faith must it take to face a giant? Or, Moses – he nevert hought he would be a leader; he was afraid; yet, God used him to save a nation from slavery! Weak? I think not! Mighty men of valor – I think so!
But, one of my personal favorite warriors is Gideon. I can picture him now…talking with the Lord. God calls him, the “mighty warrior,” to save Israel; yet, he is in great doubt. In Judges 6:15, Gideon asks God, “Pardon me, my lord but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakesti n Manasseh, and I am the least in my family. ” Gideon, the man of little faith in mankind and little faith in himself, places his full faith in God. And, as a result, the Lord uses him to save Israel from the hand of Midian. How amazing that faith can change the world! How amazing is it that God can use those we deem weak to make us strong?
The world deems baby Nathan weak, and by all accounts he is. Yet, despite his weakness, God is using him in mighty ways. In the 12 days of his life, he has touched many lives. Baby Nathan has called our family, our friends, and those we do not know into prayer and through prayer mighty things are happening! God has revealed that he is all powerful, all knowing, and, well, truly God! Only he can decide what the future holds. And, whatever this future is – for it,we are thankful. Our amazing God is using Nathan and Nathan’s worldly weakness to inspire those around him andto turn many toward Heaven. What a blessing this small life is!
Please continue to pray, as the battle is not over. Nathan had a set back this weekend. He was placed on high oxygen, had to have his feeding tube reinserted, and was not receiving enough continuous feed. As of yesterday, Nathan is now on 25% high flow oxygen (a big improvement!) and 16cc/hour of continuous feeds. Jen and Patrick hope to take him home soon. Prior to doing so, Nathan must be weaned off the oxygen and must increase his continuous feed to 20cc/hour. Sadly,Patrick had to return back to work yesterday (after several days off with his precious little man). Pray for him as his heart is with Nathan and his body is elsewhere.
Please continue to pray for God’s ultimate will to be accomplished. We are so greatly blessed with Nathan. We are blessed with God’s faithfulness to provide the time his parents asked for and we are blessed with each day he is here. In the words of Jen, “I am so impressed with how hard my little guy is fighting. God is truly blessing us each day. I cannot give enough praise and glory to our Heavenly Father for all he has done for our family. It seems every time we turn around He is blessing us again and again. So many answered prayers… it is beautiful.”
Again, we know that only God knows what is in store and regardless of what may happen – He is in control. God is using this tiny miracle in so many positive ways; and, we pray he continues to do so regardless of the circumstances to come.
Please pray for Jen, Patrick, the kids, and the grandparents as they are all emotionally and physically tired. Pray for the nurses and doctors and the other families who are experiencing similar situations (many of whom do not have the love of our Lord to guide them through these times). Please join us in thanking God for baby Nathan’s life and the numerous blessings he continues to bestow upon this family.
I am thankful for you and your prayers and will continue to keep you updated on our little mighty man of valor. May God continue to bless us with his story.
E-mail Six:
Jesus says in Matthew 19:14, "Let the children come to me..." And, at 9:24 PM on May 14, 2012, sweet Baby Nathan went to be with Jesus. Nathan was in need of healing; and, thankfully, the great Physician healed Him completely. Yes, the pain is great. And, yes, a long road lies ahead; however, we are thankful for the 18 precious days this little man spent on earth. We are thankful for the time God allowed this family to spend with their precious little man. We are thankful for the blanket of prayers surrounding him and his family in both during his life and in the time surrounding his death. We are thankful for his continual and constant reminder of God's plan. We are thankful that in his (and our) weakness, God's power can be revealed. We wait in anticipation for the great plan God has in store for this family. We are thankful, but yet, we are filled with sadness.
I cannot imagine losing a child. I will not even begin to pretend to understand such pain. In the car this morning, I listened to my own precious little man sing and babble from the back seat. What a joy it is to parent a child - what a true blessing it is to be entrusted by our Heavenly Father to raise, mold, and shape a little life. What a blessing it is to teach my little guy about Jesus, to pray over him, to laugh with him, and to comfort him when he is sad. I could not imagine waking up without him there. I cannot imagine the empty space his loss would create in my heart and in my life. Such deep loss, such deep emotion, causes me to reflect upon God's love. God also lost a child. No, his child was not sick. His child was perfect - perfect health, perfect in every way. His child was the perfect embodiment of God. His child was strong, not weak. His child was our great example. And, despite the Father's great love for His son, He chose to lose a child on our behalf! In God's infinite grace and infinite wisdom, he suffered the greatest loss on our behalf. He suffered so that in times such as these we may have hope, faith, peace and comfort. God relates to our pain; He relates to our fears. And, He fully understands the sadness engulfing this family.
God also has a plan - He sees how the life of Baby Nathan changed our family and other families during his short 18 days. God sees how Nathan's weakness is part of bigger, more perfect plan - a plan that we do not yet know and may never know. God now holds this sweet baby in the palm of his hand. God, the infinite and amazing healer has, once and for all, healed this little boy!
Laura Story recently wrote a song entitled "Blessings". Shortly after her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor, she turned to God and, His words ring true in her lyrics. The chorus states, "'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?What if Your healing comes through tears?And what if a thousand sleepless nightsAre what it takes to know You're near? What if my greatest disappointments....Or the aching of this life....Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?And what if trials of this life....The rain, the storms, the hardest nights.....Are Your mercies in disguise?"
May God reveal His plans, His mercies, and His blessings during and through this hardship. May God place His loving arms around my sweet cousin, her children, and her husband. May God use this hardship and pain to make a great impact in our world for Him. Please continue to lift them up in prayer as the journey is just beginning. Please pray specifically for Jen and Patrick Warren (the parents) and Nathan's siblings - Taylor, Hunter, and ShelbyAnn Thrasher. And, continue to pray for other families facing similar situations. I cannot imagine facing such a hardship without the precious love of Christ. Pray specifically for those families who do not know Jesus, yet face similar pain and hardship daily. Pray that God may use people, like Jen and Patrick, to witness to such families so that they too can experience God's peace during the tough situations they face. Pray that through our weakness, His power can be revealed. Thank you for joining me in prayer! May we experience God's perfect plan together!
Now, this is not an all inclusive collection; many more prayer requests were sent out... numerous prayers were uplifted. I thank God for His faithfulness, His comfort, and His divine, perfect plan. May we continue to learn from sweet baby Nathan and His short, but beautiful time here on earth.
"Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters..." Isaiah 55:1
